It’s a stinging revelation every time I think about it that no matter how hard I try to freeze moments and make every second count with her, she’s growing up before my very eyes. Just like her brother and sister are. Olivia is the most precious thing. She’s always so happy and pleasant and so stinkin cute!
To me, the hardest thing about having 3 children (or having 1 that is so much younger than the other 2) is that I feel like I don’t get to spend enough time with her just being. Just being together looking at each other and talking to each other and smiling at each other with out being interrupted. With James and Audrey I was busier than a one armed paper hanger at this age but I could stop and just be with them and not get interrupted. So, I worry sometimes that Olivia is not getting enough love and attention from me on a daily basis. I know, that’s ridiculous because I love that munchkin more than I ever dreamed possible and I take every chance I get to just “be” with her, ususally at night time before she goes down for the night. I also feel bad for hauling her around so much; feel like she’s gonna be scarred or something from all her grocery shopping and church going and state hopping and ballet lessons and swim lessons. I know, ridiculous. I think this is a mild version of a similar “guilty mama” about 4 years ago titled “Why are my children crying” A much milder version!!
Motherhood is one of the most precious gifts ever but, it’s also one of the most painful. There’s nothing like the love of a mother for her child and there’s nothing like the longing we always will have for the innocent, most precious sweetness of our infant children.
Sweet
ReplyDeleteI think I fixed it
ReplyDelete'manda, you are a UNIT. No matter HOW many states 'liv hops or how many churches she is "drug" to, you are ALL TOGETHER and that's as good as it gets. You TAKE the children. They aren't left with a sitter or in a daycare...I think she'll be a well-adjusted little girl BECAUSE of all the exposure and "miles" she's clocking...WITH THE FAMILY! Love how you manage and do the things you do with these little people.
ReplyDeleteYou know this is exactly how I've felt about Ruth, but I've never really been able to explain it. I feel like she doesn't get much time just being with me, and me playing with just her, with undivided attention.
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